Mindfulness, conscious attention, is the ability to be attentive and aware of what is happening in our minds, in our lives, in the present moment.
Mindfulness is basically observing what the senses perceive, the thoughts passing through our minds, the sensations of the body.
We can practice mindfulness in meditation, on the pillow, and we can practice mindfulness in every action we take.
We bring awareness to the present moment, and try, as best we can, to keep it here, with kindness and compassion.
And attention to the present moment begins, first of all, with stopping.
This can be physically stopping the body, from any activity in which it takes part, or – what we usually practice – a mental halt, of the flow of thoughts and stories that steal our minds at almost any given moment.
And why should we do this?
First, stopping allows us to breathe, and to find a space which allows an opportunity for renewed observation, for a choice.
This pause allows us to remember what is really important, and thus to respond in a way that does not reproduce patterns that do not benefit us, but from a fresh, healthier perspective.
Basically, the common aspiration for all of us is to feel calm, at ease with ourselves and with others, to feel “at home” with who we are.
We can spend a lifetime trying to live up to the expectations of ourselves and others, and at the end of the day, not live our lives to the fullest.
In order to live our lives to the fullest, we need to know ourselves, our patterns of thinking and behavior, those that bring happiness to our lives and those that keep it away.
In fact, in ancient Greece it was believed that self-knowledge is the key to happiness and well-being
Studies show that our minds wander about 47% of the time; we are not really present. And at the same time, we feel happiest when we are present and focused on what we are doing.
Moreover, what results from these two facts is the difficult experience of “I’m not good enough” reported by most of the participants of the aforementioned studies. We are not present, we do not experience the feeling of satisfaction and fullness of conscious action, and the experience is that what is there – is simply not good enough.
In this rush – which is often mainly mental – many times we judge ourselves by unrealistic standards of perfection and then we judge ourselves for not meeting those standards.
So what is the alternative?
Benevolent and compassionate mindfulness.
Because mindfulness is not only the practice of paying attention, but also the way we pay attention – with loving kindness.
We practice being like those loving arms that welcome everything, even the messy and imperfect parts of ourselves.
It is important to note that mindfulness is less about changing external conditions, and more about changing our attitude towards these conditions; Which does not mean that we will not make changes in our lives, on the contrary.
But these changes will come from a place of awareness of what is really happening, and our role there.
Beyond that, it is important to know that many studies show that mindfulness works, it is good for us. It strengthens our immune system, it lowers stress and tension, lowers cortisol, helps us sleep better.
In conclusion, our brain changes all the time – according to our life experiences, our thoughts, the actions we take.
So we actually practice all the time – not just on the meditation cushion. At every moment we grow, cultivate, strengthen something – tendencies, thinking patterns and more. Basically, we grow and nurture who we will be.
And so the question is: what do we want to grow? Who do we want to be?
Mindfulness allows us this choice, of cultivating who we really want to be.
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