Today the school year starts. And every year the excitement is just as great, and even more. Anyone who is not a teacher will not understand this. There is something addictive about these new beginnings that we teachers get every year; The possibility of something new – similar and different at the same time.
New relationships with new classes, deepening relationships with those who have already walked my path; And the older I get and realize how much I grow through my students, the more the pleasure increases, the meaning deepens and I am a better teacher.
And every year, when I feel comfortable enough with a new class and sense that they feel comfortable enough with me, I ask them the same question that transcends the conversation between us to a different dimension.
What makes you happy?
Every year, different students, different classes, and always the same answers even if the distribution is different:
Family, friends, trips, hobbies, traveling abroad, parties, doing well in school, shopping, food – nothing surprising.
We go through the list together and dare to put a question mark next to the things we mentioned as causes of happiness.
We call it the Pizza test.
Does it always make you happy?
Does the happiness it causes you always remain the same intensity?
Does this thing that makes you happy make everyone else happy?
Because if happiness is in the same thing that we refer to as a cause, then it would always be a cause of happiness, to the same extent and everyone would find it as a cause of happiness – because happiness is in it.
I mean, take me, put me together with that thing, and what will you get? Me happy
Well, not really..
There is no item on the impressive list on the board that passes all three tests.
Because this is PIZZA HAPINNESS
and what does that mean?
That even if I really, really like pizza, and this can be attributed to any other item on the list,
Pizza doesn’t always make me happy
After the fourth slice, I’m not that happy anymore
And the truth is that not everyone likes pizza.
If something is indeed the true cause of sustainable happiness, then it always causes happiness, there is no such thing as too much of it, and everyone will think it makes them happy.
Because happiness is found in its essence, it is the cause of happiness.
And the bad news is that there is nothing outside of me that can bring lasting happiness in my life.
Pleasure yes, and there is nothing wrong with pleasure. But it wears out, and then I need more of it, and maybe even more than before.
So if happiness is not found outside of me but somewhere else, then where? Maybe inside me?
meaning
In the next step, I ask the students to tell about something that they did that was meaningful for them – even a small act.
Here too, no matter which class it is, I always excitedly hear two answers in different variations:
In most cases, it is related to something they did for someone else..
An instructor in the youth movement tells about a moment when she managed to reach the heart of a trainee, another student tells about being able to bring a smile to hismother’s lips in a moment of sadness, a student tells about a soccer team that he coaches voluntarily and in one magical class a student told me about his morning prayer as the most meaningful thing in his day. When I asked what makes prayer meaningful in his eyes, he answered simply – “It is 15 minutes a day when I don’t think about myself.”
In the other cases, this moment is associated with overcoming an obstacle or achieving a goal that they have set for themselves and worked towards.
In each of the cases it is about the higher self, the one beyond the trivial.
Prof. Yoram Yovel (who turns out to have quoted Prof. Tal Ben Shahar) actually presented a formula for happiness:
Happiness = pleasure + meaning.
And meaning, in our worldview, (almost) always involves doing for the other.
Moreover, in another activity, when I ask the students about a person who is a role model for them, I am no longer surprised that they do not mention people with impressive academic or professional achievements, celebrities of one kind or another, people who have amassed a huge fortune or registered a grandiose patent in their name or any answer which we would hasten to attribute to the youth.
The answer is always someone who saw them, into their heart, someone who gave of himself to others, someone who loved, supported and helped.
Because that’s what really matters, and they know what we sometimes forget.
And that is what we want for them, to be such people.
Education for Happiness
We want the best for our children, without a doubt. Even when we make mistakes, we usually do it with the intention of doing good to them. We educate them to excel, to achieve, to be strong, to take care of themselves. We wish with all our hearts that they will know no obstacles and of course be full of self-confidence because they are so special and amazing.
But their self-confidence will not come from our encouraging and loving words, nor from how beautiful they are or even how successful they are in school. Their self-confidence will come from them experiencing themselves living a meaningful life – yes, even at a young age.
And so, along with tracking their achievements at school, maybe we should ask them at the end of the day,
Was there anyone you helped today?
Is there anyone you can contribute their skills to?
Has anyone got your ear?
Along with the many classes they take part in, maybe they can be directed to a weekly hour of volunteering of the type they choose.
Because excellence is not an academic or professional matter, it is a personal matter. Sometimes it seems we got confused.
Because you understand, we return to that point where everything sums up to – everything is seeds in our minds.
We record, film everything we do, say and think – even if (most of the time) not consciously.
These pictures we take become in fact the glasses through which we see the world.
So if we sow seeds/ take pictures of compassion, listening, giving and caring – these are the experiences we will have in our lives.
And vice versa, if we sow seeds of relentless pursuit of achievements and an endless search for external reinforcements, this is exactly what we will reap – a pursuit and search for false charms that we sometimes mistakenly think as our happiness.
Do I mean that it is not important to succeed in studies or achieve high achievements? Of course not.
But more important is the understanding in which field I sow my success.
Proper education teaches the children that their path to success is guaranteed to the extent that they help others to succeed – and here the sky is the limit.
The more generous I am with my skills and knowledge, the greater my success and my happiness. and vice versa. Unfortunately, over the years I have known students who learned to pursue achievements and compared themselves to others from a bleak place of competitiveness. And in all cases, no matter how high the achievements were, no consolation was reached.
So in preparation for the next new year, I wish for all of us to grow in wisdom and open our hearts, to know many moments of meaning in our lives and to remember, at the end of the day, to ask ourselves and our children:
“What seeds did you sow today?”
Yours with the love of a loving teacher, Danit
Mindful Education 