So here’s a question I get asked over and over again:
“But if I just accept what is – how will things change?”
This is a great question – because it reveals our deepest dilemma: If I don’t fight, I might stay stuck.
But true acceptance is not giving up – it’s a beginning.
Through mindfulness we learn that only when we stop fighting – is there room for something new to emerge.
Carl Rogers, the renowned psychologist, said “Only after I was able to accept myself exactly as I am, was I free to change.”
This place of acceptance of reality, acceptance of ourselves, frees us from survival mode, and allows us access to places in our brain, in our mind, of creativity, of understanding, where we can find the truly desired solutions to the challenge we are facing.
Every time we perform a certain action, we strengthen our tendency to perform that action – until it becomes our ‘nature’.
And so, struggle brings only one thing – more struggle.
And the more we find ourselves struggling with reality as it is now, the deeper we will become and excel in only one habit – to struggle.
So if we want and desire a reality that is truly different from what we are experiencing now, the way is to stop fighting what is, and here is a wonderful mindfulness exercise:
→ Sit in a comfortable position, relax your body and focus on your breathing for a few moments
Think about a situation that is difficult for you to accept right now. The recommendation is to start with
small things, and gradually move on to more and more challenging difficulties.
→ Think, Why do you refuse to accept the situation as it is? What is unbearable about it for you?
→ Try to imagine yourself accepting the situation as it is now. Just for a few moments. See yourself giving up resistance more and more.
→ Tell yourself: “This is reality now. In the present moment, this is what is. It is unpleasant to me, maybe even sad, and yet, this is what it is now.”
→ Take a deep breath and relax your body to support the feeling of acceptance. Promise yourself that you will always be there for yourself, as your best friend, to support yourself in creative and beneficial ways to change the situation as much as possible or in its acceptance.
And a question for you:
What will happen if you stop trying to change – and just see what happens when you stop fighting?
Mindful Education 