Tag: self-compassion

Podcasts

Chapter 5: Why Expectations Are Really Bad for You

Danit Doron

Because you see, the point is that the mere fact that I express a certain idea, does not really obligate the other party to act on that same idea. This is a huge mistake that we all fall into – certainly as parents, teachers and spouses. Now, this certainly does not mean that I cannot set boundaries in case of a clear violation of acceptable behavior – acceptable according to my own standards or the group’s. But expectation introduces a completely different element. expecting something from someone is, in other words, taking my happiness, or at least my momentary peace of mind, and put it in the hands of the other party.

Podcasts

Chapter 4: How to Teach Self-Compassion – Part 2

Danit Doron

If I accept myself as I am, I will never improve. And this mistake is so common. Even among adults like us, who have already experienced a thing or two in our lives, certainly among teenagers. Because you know, in everything we do, we are motivated by fear or love. Unfortunately, most of the time we are motivated by fear, and we have a pretty good evolutionary reason. Evolutionarily, if we weren’t good enough, we didn’t survive. The familiar story of Fight, Flight, Freeze. But that was a long time ago. Today the one who fights for his survival is our ego, our “survival” is purely psychological. But it is no less strong and powerful. Never underestimate the power of the ego, it doesn’t let reality get in the way.

Podcasts

Chapter 3: How to Teach Self-Compassion – Part 1

Danit Doron

So first, does it really work for us, this self-judgment? Does it really spur us on to be better? There are always those who insist it spurs them on to try harder, to achieve more, but that is not my question. After all, at the end of the day, we want all these things that we strive so hard to achieve because we believe they will make us happy (which is a question for investigation in another session). This self-judgment, which at least as I experience it when it rears its head, or as my dear students report, can be harsh and cruel, does it really contribute to my happiness? And in general, can I really compare myself to others? Do I know what is really going on in their minds? Was I born with the same tendencies, beliefs, skills or abilities so that there is some external parameter by which I can really compare us?

Blog

Accepting (and loving?) what is  

Danit Doron

So what am I actually saying? That I shouldn't strive to change things I don't like in my life? That I offer a defeatist worldview? Definitely not. There are times when it is necessary to stand up and take action to change the situation, and even if it is not necessary, there is nothing wrong with wanting things to be different. I only suggest that we do it intelligently, consciously, so that we don't spend our lives in continuous resistance to what life brings our way. I suggest an attitude which allows acceptance of the whole range of life's experiences - because they are all part of the journey.

Blog

How to Teach Self-Compassion – Part 2

Danit Doron

Psychologist Carl Rogers is quoted as saying: "Only after I was able to accept myself exactly as I was, was I free to change."The things we resist imprison us, they do not allow us to grow to this incredible thing we can become. But are we able to accept ourselves, including these parts of us… Continue reading How to Teach Self-Compassion – Part 2

Blog

How to teach self-compassion – Part One

Danit Doron

Good question. In general,, it's good to start with a question. And that's almost what I did in the class we call "Mindfulness" but is actually much more than that. One hour a week, in English class, under the pretext of their writing practice, I kind of force (in the initial stage at least) my… Continue reading How to teach self-compassion – Part One